Monday, June 23, 2003

Side effects
My doctor prescribes a medicine that takes the edge off my backpain and heals the worst of the inflammation, making it possible for me to get back into routines of working out and thus maintaining/regaining functionality. The older medicines always left me with beginning ulcers, and after a few unpleasant experiences I refused them. Celebra, the medicine in question, has been wonderful; easing pain, controlling and soothing the inflammation of the muscles, making me function without crying at the effort of sitting down. So here I was, happily enjoying modern medicine and relief from pain... but getting more and more depressed. Turns out the medicines can have the side effect of exhaustion, depression, and headaches. I just chewed the last of this prescription - and believe me, I'll be in serious agony before I ask for anything like this again. To me the side-effects means I have to choose between simple physical pain and an unexplainable (until now) urge to take the ferry to the middle of the fjord and then jump. With pain, at least I know I am alive.

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